Thursday, May 1, 2014

Conjuring up Some Scares...

The Facts

She doesn't like scary movies. He does. They watched one.

His Side

I know I start a lot of posts like this, but here we go:  I love movies. I don't, however, love horror movies like some people do. Some people live and breathe horror movies. Not me. The main reason I am not the biggest horror fan is that very few horror films that are released these days have anything new to offer. They rehash similar stories with cliche tropes that fail to tread any new ground. Also, I don't get scared by them. Sure, during the film my heart beats fast, I get scared, etc. But, not many films can sustain those scares beyond the final credits. The only horror film that was able to do this for me was "The Strangers." It is the best horror film I have ever seen and the scares stick with you - probably because it doesn't have a supernatural element (I don't believe in aliens or ghosts or poltergeists or anything like that). 

Now, I know that Kristi will never watch "The Strangers" with me and I wouldn't want her to. She wouldn't be able to sleep for days which means I wouldn't be able to sleep because I'd have to constantly check the house to make sure doors are locked, windows are shut, nobody is lurking in the backyard, etc. But, I had heard that this horror film "The Conjuring" was good so I wanted to watch it. Being the good wife that she is, Kristi agreed to watch it with me. We have watched two horror films together in the past:  "The Purge" and "You're Next." Both of these films were billed as horror films but ended up really being more of action films than anything else. So, they weren't so bad for my easily frightened wife.

"The Conjuring" is a different story. It has the feel of an old-school horror film (think "The Exorcist"). That's the best part about it:  the feel. The mood is great, it offers some good scares, and the acting is pretty good. Beyond that, though, it's nothing groundbreaking or new. It is your standard possession-style horror film and falls into the trap of modern horror - it doesn't tread new ground. You can check out my full review of it, but all you really need to know is that it's worth seeing if you're a fan of the genre but it's nothing spectacular.

After "The Conjuring," I'm not sure Kristi will be willing to watch many more horror films with me. She will especially be hesitant as the Sonos sound system grows. Sound is very important in horror films because what you can hear but not see is, a lot of times, scarier than what you can see. With a bigger, better, more engrossing sound system, the footstep creaks and doors slamming the movie sound like they are in your house. This will just make it that much worse for Kristi. 

Maybe, at least for a while, we'll stick to actions, dramas, or comedies; but, maybe we will watch another horror film one day and Kristi will be able to fully enjoy it without having to look away or scroll through her Facebook feed during the movie. One day...

Her Side

I scare easily, at pretty much anything. If something passes my line of vision and I think it’s a bug, I scream. If I hear noises at night in the house, I freak out. AND, as Nolan recently found out, when I watch a scary movie, I scream… and look away from the screen the majority of the movie.

Honestly I don’t understand why people like scary movies. They have you on the edge of your seat the entire time (and not in a good way), something pops out from behind every corner, the characters in the movie always look behind doors when everyone knows that’s ALWAYS where the bad guys hide (well, at least most of the time), and they afford some of us the grand opportunity to continuously see those creepy faces in our heads for the entire night while we attempt to sleep.

So, it all started when I offered to watch a movie with Nolan and let HIM pick what we watch. Big mistake on my part, because he takes that opportunity to choose something he knows I normally wouldn’t agree to seeing. I went into it with an open mind, telling myself it wouldn’t be that bad because, after all, it’s just a movie. I’ll be the first to say that I don’t really believe in ghosts and things of that nature but, when the beginning credits are rolling through and it is emblazoned on the screen that what I’m about to see is based on a true story, the scary factor gets turned up a bit.

I probably annoyed Nolan through the entire movie, but I’m not even sorry. After the movie came to an end that didn’t come soon enough for me. I proclaimed to Nolan that I would never watch a scary movie again. The saving grace to the night was that once the movie ended, I told Nolan the only way I’d be able to get the images and ideas of that movie out of my head were to watch reality TV. He fell for it and we watched some mindless television.

So, not only was I scared but it was way too long. Did I mention that this movie destroys my movie time limit? Those two factors work together and what I’m about to say will shock those who know me. I would literally have rather watched "Star Wars" Episodes 4-6 in one sitting than watch this movie… At least with "Star Wars" I wouldn’t have to turn away for fear of a creepy face popping out at me every other minute. Let me also clarify that my previous statement does not act as an agreement to watch all 3 in one sitting. Perhaps if I had never been subjected to the horror that is “The Conjuring” I would have done such a crazy "Star Wars" movie marathon. But, now I suppose we will never know that outcome…

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