Toilets Stink...

The Facts

Toilets stink. Enough said.

His Side

Modern plumbing is a wonderful thing. I am very happy to not use an outhouse and to only set foot in a porta-potty when I’m at some event that requires it and I can’t hold it. The only problem with modern plumbing, just like anything else, is when it fails. This past Sunday, ours failed and it was quite frustrating.

Neither toilet would flush and the bathtub wouldn’t drain properly. The extent of my plumbing expertise is the use of a plunger. Yea... that didn’t even come close to solving our problem. Right off the bat, I did what I have been trained to do:  use the internet to find plumbers that are available on Sundays. Then, my wife mentioned that this problem had occurred a few years back and the city came to fix it for free. Free is always better so we called the city. Since the Sanitation Department isn’t officially open on Sundays, I had to call the police dispatcher and he was not a nice guy. But, we did get some city workers to the house in a surprisingly short amount of time.

As you might expect, we were not thrilled when the city guys checked everything that they could but were unable to solve our problem. So, it was time to call in help:  family. It is really nice to have family nearby that has a better idea of what they are doing when it comes to these types of situations than I do. As you know from our previous posts, I have never been much of a Mr. Fix-It but I am learning. Today was another lesson... a smelly lesson.

My brother-in-law came over with a snake but nothing came of it. So, we crawled under the house and I got an education on what all the pipes under there do. There was good news and bad news under the house. The good news was that there was a valve we could open under there to use the snake if necessary. The bad news was that the pipe has a very slight downhill grade (as it should) until it reaches a sharp left turn to get out from under the house where it actually goes uphill. The sharp turn and the uphill grade makes it a danger zone for clogs. And that’s exactly where the clog was.

At this point, it was good that we could see the clog, but it wasn’t a fun experience clearing that clog. As you can imagine, it wasn’t a pretty sight once we cleared the obstruction. We ruined a pair of gloves, a bucket, and two towels. The smell was unpleasant but I survived and didn’t gag a single time. My brother-in-law has an infant son so he’s used to similar smells. He didn’t bat an eye at it. 

It wasn’t a pleasant experience, but we got the problem fixed and I felt very accomplished because, now, I can fix the problem in the future all on my own. Here’s to hoping we don’t have a similar problem in the future, though, because plumbers have a crappy job (pun intended). You really have to make that pun, right?

Her Side

Homeownership is a wonderful thing. You have a home to call your own and can do anything you want with it. If you want to paint the walls bright pink and cover them in glitter, that’s your prerogative (note: I’m not a big pink girl, so this scenario likely would never happen). Unfortunately homeownership isn’t all pink paint and glitter, you have to actually take care of the dang house, too! And that’s not always fun. For one, there are the buzzkills known as BILLS. This is where all of your hard earned money is siphoned to each month. The next big destroyer of fun are those oh so lovely unexpected home improvement tasks and inconveniences. They always seem to come up at the most inopportune times.

The latest trek into the joys of homeownership happened over the weekend… the WORST time ever to have something happen because, well, you just want to enjoy your weekend and not the problem at hand! Our Sunday started off in a normal fashion. We snoozed the alarm clock a few times (don’t worry, I build snooze time into my routine), then we got up to get ready for the day. A normal part of starting the day is using the facilities, and they worked as normal for the first go. Then, suddenly, as if to go from best friends to mortal enemies, the toilet refused to comply with its normal duties. That’s right folks, it wouldn’t flush. It was at this point that reinforcement was called in by way of the handy dandy plunger. This normally does the trick, all is well, and we are on our way to enjoying the rest of the day… not this time! I became increasingly frustrated because the symptoms of the problem seemed to mirror one I experienced a few years earlier.

With an old home comes certain intricacies that one must learn to deal with. The sewer lines weren’t installed like they are in new homes, and that causes a backup of sorts once every few years…. EW! So, I thought this might be the same type of issue and that the City of West Columbia would need to be called in to save the day just like last time; but, such was not the case.

To be completely honest, this is the point where I lost it. Yes, I cried over a plumbing issue. I cried because it was the weekend and I figured that the city wouldn’t have anyone available to fix our issue right then (which isn’t a far stretch to assume). I cried because fixing a plumbing issue isn’t the way I wanted to start out the week of my 25th birthday. I cried, and I suspect this was the REAL reason I lost it, because a simple plumbing issue made me miss my dad. If you knew my dad, you’d understand why it tore me up so much. My dad was the real life Mr. Fix-it. If you had a problem, he could fix it (no lie). I can’t remember a time where my dad willingly called in reinforcement before exhausting all of the options that included him fixing the problem. I became so accustomed to dialing the home phone and asking my mom the hand the phone to Dad because I had a house problem that needed fixed. He often times would show up on my door steps a few moments later to save the day. So, not being able to get my dad’s opinion and help was a real sucker punch for me.

Luckily, I have an awesome husband who consoled me while I cried and told me that we would find a way to fix the problem together… however that may be. At this point, I don’t think he thought he would be the one fixing such a crappy situation (pun definitely intended). So, after havint our initial hope of success via the City of West Columbia shot down, we called in more reinforcement. My brother, Jason, once again came to the rescue. He and Nolan did some diagnostics and eventually found out where the problem stemmed from and they fixed it. It certainly wasn’t a fun job, and it certainly wasn’t a clean job, but they got it done. So, now we have working plumbing and know what to do if this issue arises again (knock on wood).

I cannot stress enough how thankful I am for family that is willing to drop everything to help out others and for a husband who didn’t complain one bit while dealing with my emotional mess or the literal mess they found under the house. So, while homeownership may not always be fun, it has a way of bringing people together. I’m surrounded by some great people and I couldn’t ask for anything more.

False Sense of Reality...

The Facts

Reality shows are taking over. She likes them. He doesn't.

His Side

Let’s be honest, reality TV is the worst thing that has happened to television ever. First of all, the name is misleading:  it’s nothing like reality. Secondly, it is a major cause of why people are getting more and more into our culture of celebrity worship. People care way too much about what rich and famous people do in their lives and don’t make an effort to improve their own. And that brings me to my third point about reality TV... it has made ‘being famous’ a profession. Used to, you’d have to have some sort of talent, create something, make a bunch of money in business, or have done something worthwhile to become famous. Now, there’s the Kardashians. That’s an entire family that only exists in the public eye because we, as a society, are addicted to celebrities. It wouldn’t surprise me if some people care more about the birth of North West (the most ridiculous name ever) than the birth of their best friend’s child. That’s sad!

My issues with reality TV go beyond the fact that it breeds a brainless culture that cares more about the “Real Housewives” (some of which aren’t even married) than their own neighbors. I, as a writer, have a problem with it because all of these ridiculous shows take air time which could be used to show a written TV show that would employ writers like me. I am not ignorant, so I’m aware that reality TV is written as well. Did you know that? There are reality TV writers... does your real life have a writer? No? Then this concept of reality show writers doesn’t sound very realistic to me. I’ve never been in a writer’s room for a reality show, but I can’t imagine there is a lot of creativity going on in there compared to the writer’s room for something like “Saturday Night Live”. As a sidenote, I would consider “SNL” more based in reality than reality shows because it spoofs real life as it happens. It doesn’t create scenarios in ‘real life’ that will draw an audience.

It just makes me sad that shows like “Scrubs” and “Seinfeld” are no more and nothing has really been created since then that can compare. There are still shows on TV that have strong writing and acting with engrossing stories, but they are falling to the wayside to make room for “My Five Wives” (which is exactly the same as “Sister Wives” and is even ON THE SAME CHANNEL). Most of the new shows, unless they are cop dramas, fail in their first few seasons because everyone is too busy watching “Teen Mom 2” (which is just sad because these kids have no chance of growing up and being normal). “Big Bang Theory” was renewed for 3 more seasons. “American Horror Story” is about to start it’s 4th season. “Archer” is in it’s 5th season and has been picked up for two more. These types of shows are sticking around because they have a proven following. “The Following,” “The Blacklist,” and other relatively new shows are surviving for now. But, as the months and next few years go by, unfortunately, I believe that more and more fiction shows will get cancelled and more ‘reality’ shows will be picked up. It’s the sad state of television today, but we are letting it happen by tuning in to “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” each week.

Some reality shows are entertaining, though. “Million Dollar Listing:  Los Angeles” is fun mainly because of the amazing homes and condos that you get to see. I actually look forward to watching “Duck Dynasty,” although this season has been weak in my opinion. But it is usually funny and it has a good message. Even that one, though, seems very put on at times. I don’t mind “Millionaire Matchmaker,” “90 Day Fiance,” “Catfish” and a few others, but I still would rather flip it to a show with characters and an actual script.

I imagine that I have learned to kind of like some of these shows because either my wife, or our celebrity obsessed culture is rubbing off on me... I can handle the first choice but I sincerely hope it’s not the second choice.

Her Side

I have a guilty pleasure and it’s reality TV. I don’t really discriminate between the shows, although I do enjoy certain ones over others. But, if it falls within the reality TV category, I’ve probably watched it. A few of my favorites are as follows but not limited to:  "Duck Dynasty," "Millionaire Matchmaker," "The Real Housewives of (pick your favorite city)," "90 Day Fiance," "Sister Wives," and "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo." I know what you’re thinking. How in the world does she keep up with all of these shows? Well, wonder no more because I don’t keep up with all of them! That’s the beauty of reality TV. You can miss a number of episodes in any given season and still have an idea of what’s going on because… (drum roll please) they don’t follow a strict story line.

There is an oddly satisfying feeling that I get when I watch these shows. Now, before you go judging any of my aforementioned selections, let me explain why I like a few of them. While watching “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” I’m sure the feeling is similar to that of seeing a car wreck. You really don’t want to look and you know you shouldn’t because you are driving, after all, but you just can’t help but stare in shock at what has unfolded in front of your eyes. I mean, when a family makes “spaghetti sauce” out of ketchup and butter, you can’t help but wonder what they are going to pull out of their sleeve for their next crowd stunner. “Duck Dynasty” is a 180 degree turn from the former. It has substance and a lesson to be learned in every episode. It’s a feel good show with morals and, while I’ve never gone duck hunting in my life (and honestly probably never will because…ew, blood!), I can relate to their family. Somewhere in the middle of those two sits my personal favorite - “The Real Housewives of (insert your favorite city)”. I will admit that I watch at least a few minutes of this particular show most days, but that’s not because I’m obsessed. It’s completely the show's fault as they cover around 6 different cities and are constantly showing reruns. It is normally 10 minutes into the show that my husband walks in door from work and the channel is changed to something we both enjoy.

This is probably an appropriate time to mention that he hates reality TV, and in particular “The Real Housewives”. I get it, though. It’s a show about rich women, who foster insincere friendships. They fight and make catty remarks to one another constantly. I can’t help but laugh when the ladies get mad at one another for not inviting the other to afternoon tea…because who even cares about that! There is zero substance to this show, and that’s part of the allure for me. That reason, coupled with the fact that there is no real script or storyline is precisely why my husband hates these shows so much.

Before you go thinking I’m crazy, let me explain why I’m drawn to this style of television. I like it for the sheer fact that it takes no amount of effort to watch and I don’t have to follow any kind of story. When I’m watching TV, I generally don’t want to think about it, I want to be entertained. Well, reality TV fits the criteria for me, especially after a long day at work where my brain has likely turned into mush. It’s almost like a reset button for the brain… a time where my brain is still on and functioning, but it is operating at the bare minimum. Perfection!

I will absolutely give Nolan credit for how he deals with his reality TV watching wife. He sits and watches many of these shows with me with minimal complaining because he knows I like them. He doesn’t, however, pay attention to them (which is crazy to me since they are so entertaining!). He, instead, can be found browsing Facebook or Twitter on his phone. I guess the sheer fact that he exposes himself to a type of show that he dislikes so much must mean it’s true love!

We'd love for you to tell us your favorite TV show, reality or otherwise! Let us know in the comments below!

The (un)Fit Test...

The Facts

Insanity day 1. Our bodies are in for a rude awakening.

His Side

I am a little overweight; I know that. I have never felt very out of shape, though. In college I would play racquetball a lot (which is a great cardio workout), participate in intramural sports, swim laps, and lift weights. I never was the picture of good health, but I worked out and tried to eat moderately well. Times have changed.

Since I got married, I haven’t worked out much. After getting up and seeing my wife off to work, then I have about an hour before I go into work; so, I usually spend this time to further my writing career. Then, after work, I get home and we eat dinner. After that, It’s close to 8 and I just want to relax with my wife. This usually involves a couch and the TV or a board game. Since the weather is getting nicer, we will probably go on walks occasionally, but that’s the extent of our physical activity in married life.

Well, we have decided to change those habits and do Insanity with Shaun T. I always get sick of people talking about how intense something like Crossfit, P90X, or Insanity is but, now that I’ve tried it, I understand. I’m still not going to go around telling everybody, “Oh man, I’m so sore! I started Insanity today. It’s rough!” but I was certainly surprised at how tough just the beginning fit test is.

I started out pushing extremely hard trying to get a good feel for what I could do since that’s the point of the fit test. I pushed too hard, though, because part way into the third exercise, I felt like I would puke. I had always heard about people saying they worked out so hard they almost puked, but I had never experienced it myself. Maybe I wasn’t as close as I thought I was to puking, but I didn’t want to get any closer.

I ended up recovering and finished strong but probably with poor form. It still wore me out, but I’m very proud of us for getting up in the morning and actually doing it. We’ll check back in at the two week mark and let you know how it’s going. Hopefully we can stick with it and be an encouragement to others who want to work out but are having a hard time getting motivated.

Her Side

Loathe (v.) - to dislike greatly and often with disgust or intolerance.

Yep, I loathe working out. It’s a strong word, but it’s a very real feeling. I have never been a fan of uncrossing my feet that are nicely propped up on the coffee table and dragging my lazy butt off of the couch only to put on uncomfortable workout clothes and tennis shoes that seem claustrophobic to a foot that just wants to be free.

I WANT to be healthy, and generally speaking I am a healthy person (at least that’s what my doctor tells me). I do find, however, that the metabolism of teenage Kristi is quickly reversing its once forgiving role. I used to be able to eat anything I wanted and I wouldn’t see or feel repercussions of the fried chicken and chocolate shake I would ingest. Now, I eat them and pray that I can still fit into my fat jeans when I put them on twenty minutes later (spoiler alert:  it generally doesn’t end well).

It seems like every other week I make a promise to myself to begin working out and leading a healthier lifestyle. In case you aren’t aware, the only day you can actually start a new workout regimen is a Monday. Why? Well, because that’s just how it has worked from the beginning of time. So, if a Monday passes without a newly implemented workout regimen, then it has to wait until the next week. You can see how this might be a time consuming process, because, after all, life happens and Monday’s aren’t always the best days to start working out. In particular, when you vow to work out in the morning.

Anyone who knows me is probably aware that I am not a morning person. It’s a struggle for me to get up, get ready, and get out of the door to be on time to work each day. So, having to carve out time to work out before the work day starts is a crazy concept. While it may seem crazy to me, it’s what I have decided I need to do. When clothes that fit a few weeks ago suddenly become too tight to comfortably breathe in, you know it’s time to do something about it. The way I see it, there are two actions that can be taken. You can either purchase new clothing that accommodates your newfound shape, or you can kick your butt in gear and get back into those skinny jeans that are gathering dust in the closet.

I’m a cheapskate, so I’m opting for the latter of the two options. I know going from being extremely sedentary to doing the crazy and intense workout plan called Insanity is quite a jump (literally); but, with the right motivation and, more importantly, with the right workout partner, anything is possible.

With that said, Nolan and I have started Insanity. So, if you come in contact with me within the next 60 days, I apologize if I’m crabby or grouchy. My body is going to be put through things it’s not used to, but I know it’s going to be worth it in the end. Look out world! The new, improved and healthier version of The Collins are on their way!

Is This Real Life or Is This Just Fantasy (Baseball)...

The Facts

Grown men. Real players. Made up teams. Fantasy Baseball.

Nolan's baseball obsession started young

His Side

I grew up following major league baseball pretty closely. My dad played baseball. My brother and I played baseball and my dad coached us. We all watched baseball together. Baseball was a big part of my childhood. As I got older, though, I grew away from following my favorite teams and players. When my buddies in college suggested we do a fantasy baseball league, I figured I would jump in and see what it’s all about. I had never done fantasy sports before but why not give it a go?

That first season, I discovered two things. First, it’s a decent amount of work and time to stay competitive in a fantasy baseball league (each team plays 162 games in around 180 days which means 2430 games are played total in almost 26 weeks... it’s a long season). Not only are there a lot of games, but players get injured, taken out of the starting lineup, and some players that are supposed to be good end up sucking.

The other thing I discovered is that I love it. I know it may sound silly to some people but that’s their problem. Part of the fun is having your team pitted against your friend’s team for a week and exchanging trash talk via text and Facebook. Then when your team edges them out by a couple home runs, you win the ultimate prize:  bragging rights. Fantasy baseball also forces me to keep up with my favorite teams and players as I used to when I was a kid. It’s like an excuse to relive my childhood which is nice because being a grownup isn’t always the most fun.

The draft is the most exciting part. Yes, it takes a little longer than I want it to, but it’s fun to have everyone in the chat room dishing about each other’s picks. As guys tend to do, there is a lot of making fun of the other guys but that’s how we interact. I sometimes feel dumb, though, because I never do as much research as some of the other guys, so they tend to know more about upcoming players and such than I do. Some people go into the draft with a plan; I just wing it. It’s more fun that way.

Some people would argue that fantasy baseball is all about luck. You could pick the best team in the world and lose because they don’t perform up to expectations. Similarly, you could pick a bunch of no-name guys that put up huge numbers. But, if it were all luck, the same people wouldn’t be at the top of the league every year. There is definitely some strategy to it and I have never ended a season below the top four (if my memory serves me). If it’s all luck, I must be really lucky.

Ultimately, I know that me having certain players on my fantasy team doesn’t make them play better or worse in real life. And I know that competing with friends over how professional athletes perform day-to-day in their sport doesn’t seem to make any sense, but I love it. I can’t even explain why it’s so much fun to me, but things don’t always have to make sense. And women should understand that... you know... because they don’t always make sense.

Apparently fantasy sports is a "thing"

Her Side

Fantasy baseball. It’s not even real, so what’s the big deal? Ask my husband and he can spout off a long list of reasons. Our opinions on this topic couldn’t be more contrasting. He loves it, I hate it. Hate might be a bit strong, but sometimes it’s necessary to get a point across.

The other day, Nolan approached me and said he needed to talk to me about something. I got the dreaded pit in my stomach and wondered what I had done wrong or what was I supposed to do that I didn’t. Nolan calmed my nerves a few short seconds later by saying he wanted to talk about fantasy baseball. Those are words that I was hoping I would never hear again. I put them out of my mind after last year and thought (more like wished) Nolan had done the same. Such was not the case.

Upon the words coming out of his mouth, they were promptly met with “no way, you’re not doing that, it’s crazy!” Hear me out on this one. I’m not trying to take something away from him that he loves. I’m not trying to change him into a different person. I know that pre-marriage Nolan loved participating in fantasy baseball. I just wanted him to be aware of my feelings on the subject at hand.

Last year, we didn’t have an extremely pleasant experience with the “draft.” I was assured it would be done in a timely manner and before I was to see him that particular evening. You can imagine my surprise when I show up to see him and he is in the throws of the draft and wasn’t going to budge for anything, especially not me. Nolan is notorious for not accurately predicting how long a task will take. This clearly tends to be a sore spot for me. So, when he approached me the other day about the topic and asked “what day would be best for us to have the draft, it’s scheduled for Sunday right now,” I didn’t know quite how to respond.

I reminded Nolan that we don’t have tons of time together as it is, since our jobs require us to work slightly different hours. “How much time will it take to do the draft?” is all I want to know, but no answer has been given. I suppose I will lie on the couch and watch reality shows while he taps away at the computer attempting to get his favorite players on his… made up team.

We already have an agreement of sorts. I dislike when he is on his phone constantly, especially when we are spending quality time together. He promised that he wouldn’t constantly be checking his fantasy team and switching up who is in the lineup while we are together. I guess only time will tell how that works out, but I’m skeptical to say the least.

Relationships are all about give and take, doing or allowing something that you aren’t crazy about for someone you are crazy in love with.

The Bumpy Road to a Flat Screen...

The Facts

We bought a 60" TV for our family room. We moved a TV from the family room to the office, a TV from the office to our bedroom, and a TV from our bedroom to the guest bedroom.

His Side

Every man knows that, when it comes to a television, bigger is better. Most men also know that women do not agree with this sentiment. That means it can be a struggle to convince your wife that an upgrade is in order. When you do suggest something like this, though, the next question out of her mouth is usually “why?” The correct answer is “it needs to be bigger” but that doesn’t usually fly. So, we have to come up with other answers like “Well, when there is bright red on the screen, it jumps a little. Also, it’s an older TV and there are good deals right now.” If that works, you jump for joy and start looking at big, beautiful TVs.

For me, it was a little different. The first time my wife mentioned getting a new TV, she was looking at a 50 inch. We already had a 42 inch so, if we were going to upgrade, we needed to go a little bigger. We stopped looking for a while until there were some ads for TVs on good deals. So we shopped... and shopped... and researched... and looked at reviews... and shopped. Finally we were wavering between a 55 inch and a 60 inch smart TV. We agreed on the 60” but for very different reasons. I like that it is bigger. I think she likes it for the Smart TV aspect. Either way, it’s bigger, so it’s better.

I know it’s expensive, but here are my thoughts on money:  we both work hard at our jobs to earn money and money is meant to be spent. Don’t get me wrong, saving is good and important, but you’ve got to treat yourselves once in a while. This just happened to be a pricey treat. But, as you already know, I love movies and a better TV makes for a better movie viewing experience. Also, one of my favorite things to do with my wife is just relax on the couch and find something to watch on TV while we chat and hang out. So, we will definitely be using the new TV; we didn’t just buy it for the heck of it.

I knew 60 inches would be a lot of TV, but I wasn’t sure exactly how much TV it was. The box barely fit in our SUV with the seats laid down. And the reality of how big 60 inches of TV is hit me as we were installing it.

I figured installation would be a piece of cake after putting in a storm door last weekend. It wasn’t. First we had to take down the old wall mount which required a 4mm security hex wrench. In layperson terms, that’s an allen wrench with a hole in the middle of it... and it’s hard to find. Lowe’s nor Home Depot could help us so we had to drive a good distance away to an Ace Hardware. I’m not sure why the makers of the wall mount wouldn’t just require a normal tool to put it together, but that’s their prerogative I guess.

Once we got the old one off, we put the new one up and didn’t run into many issues until we actually had to hang the TV onto the wall mount. It should have been an easy thing:  you hook the brackets on the back of the TV into the lip of the wall mount. Well, the TV isn’t light and Kristi was having a hard time with her side, so we had to call in help. This time, help arrived in the form of one of her brothers. He saved the day. Having an extra set of hands really helped and we finally got the top hooked. The bottom piece, however, didn’t hook in correctly. What this means is that the TV is not going to fall off unless you come in and push up on the bottom of it... so don’t do that.

After installing the big, new TV in the family room, we were pros and it was relatively easy to install the old 42 inch into the office. Well, the stud finder we were using told us there was a stud where there wasn’t so we put a couple extra holes in the wall, but we eventually got it up and secure. Then we moved the old 32 inch from the office into the bedroom. It’s on a stand so that was an easy installation. Finally, we moved the 24 inch into the guest bedroom. Is four TVs too many? Maybe. Do I care? Not at all. 

It took all day when I thought it was a four hour job, frustrations were minimal, and we got everything installed; so, I consider that a win. And the TV is amazing. I already love it and can’t wait to watch a blu ray on it.

Her Side

So, we bought a RIDICULOUSLY HUGE television and I was ok with it. Shocking, I know. Let me explain. The TV we used in our family room is one I brought into the marriage, so Nolan had no say in it. I purchased it from Craigslist, so it wasn’t a new item; but it did its job well... for me. The color had recently started messing up. In particular, all things red would jump around the screen as if to say “catch me if you can.” It starts to make you feel crazy when images move for no reason on the screen, so we started to entertain the idea of a new TV. Nolan jumped at the opportunity to get something bigger and better, because bigger apparently equals better when it comes to electronics. 

Nolan and I have very different views when it comes to making purchases. I’m a saver. I always have been and will most likely always be. AND, when it comes to big purchases, I have to justify why the money needs to be spent. Nolan, on the other hand, is willing to part with money for something that isn’t a complete necessity. I would like to think that we met in the middle on the TV. I agreed to a TV because of the issue with color because, after all, it was starting to annoy me every time we watched a show. Nolan wanted a TV because I was willing and, let’s be honest, he would be stupid not to run with my willingness to make a large purchase. 

We researched some TVs and finally bit the bullet. That was the most painful purchase I have ever had to be a part of. I kid you not when I say that I couldn’t watch Nolan swipe the credit card that day in Best Buy. I kept repeating in my head “It’s okay, the color was going out, you need it” (as if that would help ease my mind... yea, right). The purchase was made and out of my mind because we had to wait for it to arrive at the store since we clearly can’t choose a TV that they have in stock... that’s just too easy. 

We finally picked up the TV and now I feel like I sort of know what it’s like to bring a baby home from the hospital for the first time. Every turn Nolan took, I urged him to be careful and not go too fast as to not disturb our precious cargo in the back. He did a stellar job and we arrived at home all in one piece. When we got home, we knew we wouldn’t be able to install it that night so we put it in our living room so it was out of the way.

We finally decided to tackle the installation process on Friday evening. Because, what better way to spend your evening than to put up a TV? Well, as most things go for us, we ran into a road block. Before installing the new TV, we had to take the current TV off of the wall mount and it required a tool we did not have. We searched three different stores and, fittingly, the last store we checked is the one that had the tool we needed. Thank goodness, because I was convinced we would have to break the wall mount to get the TV off! 

Once we got the old TV off of the wall, the installation of the new one was underway. The brackets went onto the TV nicely and, similarly, the brace went on the wall without any issues. I thought we were out of the woods and the TV would be up in no time... but it didn’t quite work like that. We called in help in the way of my brother, Jason, and he was able to help us get the TV up on the wall. The wall mount didn’t work exactly how the package proclaimed; but, by that point, as long as the TV was secure I didn’t care. And my brother assured us that it wouldn’t go anywhere. So far so good!

We did do a game of musical TVs and now have a TV in almost every room in the house. It is, admittedly, a bit excessive; but, at this point, I don’t even care! I was worried that our new 60” TV would make me feel like I am in a theater in my own house (not a feeling I’m fond of), but it fits nicely and it actually looks great on our wall. 

As crazy as it might sound, installing the TV was way harder and more stressful than installing our storm door. If we messed up the storm door, it would stink and we would be out the money for the storm door, but that wasn’t much. Messing up mounting a TV on the wall has much higher and more expensive consequences. Thank goodness for a husband and brother who know what they’re doing!

Before and After

The Storm (Door) is Coming...

The Facts

Storm door installation. Approximate start time of 9:30 AM. Completed at approximately 2:00 PM.

His Side

Installing a storm door isn’t my idea of fun. I’d rather be at the movies, playing a board game, or hanging out with friends and family. With that being said, things need to be done around the house and I’m a man, so it’s my job to get them done. Since I’ve never been much of a “Mr. Fix-It” and my wife comes from a family that excels in home improvement projects, I felt like this was an opportunity to prove to Kristi, her family, and (most importantly) myself that I can step up and do it. Helping me in the process was the plethora of tools I got as wedding gifts and the cordless drill I got for my birthday.

Wrong side, no big deal

Once we got everything set up to start, we kicked it off by putting the hinge rail on the door. And, naturally, we put it on the wrong side. Leave it to us to mess up the very first part. But I was a rockstar with the drill and we fixed the problem rather quickly. From there it was reasonably smooth sailing which surprised me. My wife is not known for her patience, especially in home improvement situations. Knowing that and knowing my lack of experience in this field, I expected a rough day that would include some big frustrations but Kristi handled the good and the bad like a champ and only really got frustrated when I about ran a yield sign because I wasn’t paying attention.

I made this driving gaffe on one of the THREE trips to her mom’s house to get extra tools. One of which was a half inch drill bit (it’s huge) that we had to use to drill straight THROUGH the nice new door we just installed. It was a bit nerve-wracking seeing that huge hole in the door but it was for the handle and it worked out fine. Borrowing extra tools is all the help we got, though, in the entire process. Usually, the first thing that happens when we meet a problem is that Kristi is on the phone with her mom. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good first move because her mom is a lot of help, but I didn’t want any outside help. I didn’t tell Kristi this at first, but I was going to do anything in my power to make sure we knocked out this project by ourselves. It’s back to having something to prove.

We got the entire thing done in a shorter time than I expected which is good because Kristi made the rule that we weren’t eating lunch until it was done. You know that made me work faster! It felt good to work together on something and complete it on our own. You might think this isn’t such a huge accomplishment because you do it all the time with your spouse, but for us it’s big so let us have our moment!

Her Side

As you may recall from our last post, we divulged a secret of ours... we aren’t a DIY savvy couple. So, naturally, we decided to take on what seems like a pretty big task (at least for people who aren’t used to this sort of thing). We installed a storm door. Woohoo!

Let me start off by being perfectly honest. I’m notoriously impatient (I know, it’s not a good trait) and I am easily frustrated when things don’t go according to plan. To be more specific, it’s when things don’t go according to MY plan (at least I’m aware of it and, trust me, I’m working on it). 

Mistake #1

The process began with cleaning the existing door as it had braved the South Carolina elements for at least three years and had quite honestly seen better days. Once we cleaned the door to the best of our half-hearted abilities, the process of installing the storm door began. One of our saving graces is that we had the forethought to look over all of the instructions to make sure we had the appropriate tools required for the job.  Unfortunately we have been known to skip over this step in the past, and it’s definitely one you want to pay attention to. 

As we began the first part of the installation process, we drilled holes in the door to attach a hinged part to and it was surprisingly easy. BEWARE, when something is going smoothly there generally is bound to be some obstacle flair its mean nose and knock down your confidence in your ability to successfully complete the project. We installed the hinge on the WRONG side of the door! Can you believe it?! Thankfully, we laughed it off and simply looked at it as a practice round of installation. 

We fixed it!

The rest of the project went relatively smoothly with only some minor speed bumps along the way. In an effort to have full disclosure, I wasn’t convinced that Nolan and I would be able to complete this project solely on our own since neither of us had done something like this before. I am pleased to report, however, that we did it 100% on our own and only had to make a few phone calls to my wonderful mother to borrow some extra tools. You may note that I previously mentioned we made certain to have all of the appropriate tools required for the job and we did, but only if we wanted a door that didn’t have a handle or latch (we forgot those small details). So, thank goodness for a mom who lives close by and has a ton of tools. Oops!  

Speed bump averted!

If I had to make one complaint about installing this door it’s that I wasn’t as involved as I thought I would be. When it comes to projects I generally take the lead; but, strictly because I have more of an interest in them, not because I feel I have to. I did steal the drill from Nolan a few times (hey, I wanted to be able to say WE did it together and not be lying!) and he gladly let me do the not so fun work of cleaning up the mess we made.   I think we make a pretty great team.

In all, this was a great growing experience for us. Accomplishing this task has given us (well I should probably just speak for myself here) a new kind of confidence that we can tackle another big project! It was definitely an exhausting process, but I would do it again simply because we work so well together!

Before & After

How We DIY...

The Facts

We have a home. Projects need done.

His Side 

Before I got married, while my wife had a wedding shower, I had a BATH (Barbecue At The House). While the ladies eat veggie plates and have estrogen fueled party games, us men answer by eating meat and playing ping pong. Feel free to implement this BATH idea, gentlemen... you’re welcome.

At the BATH I received gifts which consisted almost exclusively of tools. Most of these tools, I have to admit, I wasn’t completely sure what to do with. I know the basics:  hammers, nails, screwdrivers. Now, before you start judging me because I’m a man and I don’t have a vast knowledge of tools, realize that I don’t come from a very DIY focused home.

And the project begins...

I did, however, marry into one. Kristi’s dad always had some sort of project he was working on and her brothers are the same way. Luckily for me, Kristi inherited the DIY mindset, but not to the extent her brothers did. If she had, though, maybe she would just DIY on her own and not involve me. The only reason this might be a better option is because we are both quite stubborn so we sometimes butt heads over the best way to do things. She has a way of doing things and I have a different way. Naturally both of us think our way is the best but I’ve been told that hers always is.

Last time we worked together in a DIY situation, we simply had to put together an entertainment center from IKEA. First of all, their instructions just have pictures... I am literate, so give me some words. One of the pictures is someone needing help and calling IKEA... but there’s no number to call. And we needed help because one piece didn’t fit where it needed to fit. I am happy to say, though, that I came up with the solution we needed to make it work. I also, however, put a piece in the wrong place and almost ruined the whole thing. Kristi fixed it though and the rest of it was relatively smooth sailing.

We may not be the best DIYers on the face of the Earth but we make it work. And we haven’t killed each other yet, so that’s a positive.

Her Side

I come from a DIY household. Growing up, my mom and dad were always working on a new project around the house. If something needed fixed or if they wanted to update, they did it. My dad always knew how to handle any project, no matter the size. Perhaps it's because I'm the the youngest, perhaps it's because I am the only girl, but one thing is certain: I did not receive the DIY genes of the family. Don't get me wrong, when it comes to fun and crafty items, I can "Do It Yourself" all day long. When it comes to legitimate repair tasks, however, I am no good. I realize that we need to get from point A to point B, but the sequential steps that take you from one point to the other allude me.

Halfway there!

As Nolan mentioned, the last "DIY" project we did consisted of putting together a piece of IKEA furniture. It came with instructions and simply involved connecting piece A with piece B by using screw C. Sounds simple, right? In the grand scheme of DIY projects, yes, it's simple; but, for us, it did provide some challenges. Even though we faced a few minor bumps along that short road, Nolan was able to fix them and we now have a nice piece of furniture to house all things TV related.

I consider the IKEA project just an introduction to the world of DIY house projects for the two of us. We started out relatively simple and easy and are ready to graduate to something a bit more involved. The next project on the horizon is putting up a storm door, which seems to be way more complicated and daunting of a task than we are ready for. But I'm confident that with my project management skills and Nolan's ability to say "Yes Dear", we will have that storm door up in no time! It doesn't hurt that Nolan's birthday just passed and our selection of tools has grown!

Nolan and I have very different approaches when it comes to taking on projects of any kind. Like a typical male, he's very matter of fact in his approach. I am very emotion driven and don't take as kindly to things not going as planned. In the end, our two approaches work quite well together and I am confident that we can tackle any project that comes our way! So, here's to hoping that installing a door is somehow easier than putting together furniture.

Project completed